5 Ways To Survive the Holidays at Home with Your Family

Does heading home for the holidays give you the heebie-jeebies? Are you still recovering from Thanksgiving? As if trying to travel during covid isn’t stressful enough, there is, well, the family…

Most of us have families that are problematic one way or another (or many!), but spending time with your family doesn’t have to drive you nuts! A little planning beforehand can make all the difference!

1.Tips to Reduce Travel Stress

Being away from your usual routine, dealing with jet lag, eating and drinking too much, cold season… all of these things can make going home for the holidays more difficult. Give yourself a running start by arriving calm and well-rested. It will be so much easier to handle the emotional roller-coaster that your family can inspire! And, of course, reducing your stress is known to increase your immunity, which is all the more important if you are going to be increasing your possible exposure to covid-19.

Now is the time to consider the extra expense of upgrading for extra leg-room on the flight on the way over. These days you can sometimes get an upgrade for as little as $50, so don’t just assume that it’s out of your budget; be sure to check availability for your flights! Even if you are short (like me!) that extra room might mean that you don’t spend the entire flight cursing the guy in front of you who reclined his seat so far you can’t see your own lap! Save yourself this frustration! It might be worth it to you to spend a few extra dollars if it means the difference between feeling tired and grumpy over the holidays or feeling rested and ready to enjoy the merriment.

Check the airline’s policy about flight insurance. My daughter recently skipped the flight insurance on her holiday flight, and this meant she was the first one bumped when the flight got overbooked. The extra money she had spent to fly direct went out the window as she was re-booked on a connecting flight the next day. Two flights rather than one will double your potential of being exposed to covid, so it’s especially important this holiday season to safeguard your access to that direct flight when possible!

If you can, take only a carry-on so that your luggage can’t be lost or delayed in a quick layover that you made but your luggage didn’t. Now that many airlines charge for even one checked bag, it’s sometimes not only easier, but also cheaper to send home your gifts or extra personal items via USPS beforehand. For some great tips about packing and traveling with only a carry-on suitcase, click here.

If you are driving, give yourself enough time so that you aren’t rushing. If you are part of my family, this means packing the car the night before or else you will spend 2 hours doing what you could accomplish in 10 minutes if you had just done it earlier. There is something about day-of-travel packing that makes it stretch out forever…

Make sure you print out a map if there is any possibility you will be traveling in areas where you won’t be able to access the map app on your phone because of poor cell service. Getting lost in the mountains is not fun! It’s so easy to be looking at the views and miss a turn-off. And it looks completely different from the other direction. Don’t rely on memory; print out a map! (Naturally I am speaking from experience here!)

2. Stay Somewhere Else

If it’s financially feasible, it’s a great idea to get a hotel room or an AirBnB so that you have some private space. This will also give you a place to retreat to if your family is not socially distancing in a way that makes you comfortable. If you are traveling with your partner, they might especially appreciate some respite from your family! If you don’t want to get your own place, then rent a car so you can escape if you need to. You will probably feel safer from covid if you don’t have to rely on an Uber to go anywhere, and it feels better not to have to rely on your family to lend you their car. A little independence is worth a lot in this situation! This is especially important if you are going somewhere snowy, where it might be harder to just get outside for a walk to take a break from the fam.

3. Plan a Project

Plan ahead to do some kind of project at home while you are there. Now that everyone is on some sort of covid quarantine, you will be spending plenty of time together at home! Maybe you can set up your mom’s computer or iPad so she can finally download all those photos you’ve sent her on Dropbox. Anything technology-related is usually helpful for the older folks at home! And there’s always cooking. Don’t bring something ready-made to contribute; plan to cook, or at least assemble, at home. This can usually buy you some time where you don’t have to answer personal questions or talk about that embarrassing thing that happened to you when you were 12 (unless that embarrassing thing involved cooking…).

4.Plan Family Activities Outside of the House

Everyone will probably be going a bit stir crazy inside together, but leaving the house is pretty challenging to manage during this winter of covid quarantine. It is still possible to do some things outside of your home like hiking, bicycling, or even just walking around the neighborhood. As easy as it is to sit around talking, drinking, eating, and watching football, try to make a point of getting outside at least once a day for some fresh air and a bit of exercise, both of which are known to improve your mood. We need all the help we can get these days!

5. Lower Your Expectations

Know that your family probably hasn’t changed much, and no one is about to have a come-to-Jesus moment over the holidays when everyone is a little more stressed than usual. This is not the occasion where you are going to heal old wounds and get that family member to apologize for that thing they said or did that time. This is about letting go of high hopes and finding the joy where you can. This will probably include not discussing politics. Even if your family tries to goad you about your political views (and this is pretty standard!), don’t take the bait.

You can’t change anybody overnight, but you can observe and learn something about your family that might help you with some of the issues you struggle with back in your everyday life. For some guidance on how that works, click here.

Conclusion:

Families are both complicated and wonderful, and holidays are both stressful and joyful. Like most things, it’s a mixed bag. Do your best to plan ahead so that you have some healthy coping mechanisms in place, and let the rest come as it may. One way or another, it will all be over soon and you will be back to your everyday life. Enjoy what you can and see if you can make these the best holidays so far!

Click here to read “Surviving the Holidays — Part One” for even more helpful holiday tips.

Could You Use Some Extra Support Over the Holidays?

Therapy can give you the skills to keep your calm over the holidays spent with a less-than-perfect family! If you could use some extra help getting through the holiday season, or starting 2021 off with a bang, please call me at 323-999-1537, or email me at amy@thrivetherapyla.com for your free in-office or phone consultation. I look forward to talking to you soon!