3 Simple Ways to Accept Yourself When You are Feeling Meh.

COVID-19 UPDATE: I’ve been offering online therapy to individuals and couples for years! Click here to learn all about just how easy it is to do therapy from your home while you shelter in place!

Put On Your Own Mask First

Now we’re beginning our second month of quarantine, and we’re all beginning to recognize that this crazy “new normal” is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. If you’ve ever participated in an endurance event of any kind, you know that if you burn through all your energy in the beginning, you will bonk before you are able to finish.

Now is the time to conserve energy and re-group. There will be plenty of time later for being super productive. Please please please let yourself stay in sweats all day, skip the Zoom workout class, eat Cheerios for lunch. And dinner.

Most of us are clinging tightly to our sanity and doing our best to put one foot in front of the other each day.

Writer Troy Johnson put this quite succinctly in a tweet:COVID-19 UPDATE: I’ve been offering online therapy to individuals and couples for years! Click here to learn all about just how easy it is to do therapy from your home while you shelter in place!

"Day 1 of Quarantine: ‘I’m going to meditate and do body-weight training.’

 Day 4: *just pours the ice cream into the pasta*" 

We can all relate.

Unfortunately, much of what we see on social media is not so relatable.

One of the big problems with taking it slowly right now is social media Productivity Porn.

Joe Shmoe is learning Chinese in all his new-found free time, and Jane Doe is now training for a triathlon on her treadmill and her Peleton. Your old friend Suzy is knitting 100 quilts for the homeless,  David is already halfway through writing his book, and Andi is teaching Zoom yoga classes. And they’re all crowing about it on social media.

Just. Say. No.

Staying off of social media is an option. Calling people or video-chatting is so much more rewarding. If you can’t stay completely off of social media, please seriously consider limiting your time to one specific period in the morning, and one specific period in the afternoon. The last thing you need is to be bombarded with stories about how someone else is rockin’ “sheltering-in-place”.

Most of us are not rockin’ it.

COVID-19 UPDATE: I’ve been offering online therapy to individuals and couples for years! Click here to learn all about just how easy it is to do therapy from your home while you shelter in place!

Self-Acceptance

Know that in times of crisis, your physical and psychic energy levels are going to be depleted. You need to focus on just the top few needs and allow yourself to let go of the other needs for the time being.

If it’s all you can do to get up in the morning and make your bed, that’s okay. That’s actually quite amazing, on some days. If you can get up and not do anything “productive”, and let that be okay—well, you’ve just worked on something truly difficult: self-acceptance. Take a bow.

Self-acceptance Is Both an Opportunity and a Challenge

Even those people who seem so confident all the time struggle with this—trust me, I’m a therapist. I work with those people, too! Self-acceptance is elusive and transitory. Self-acceptance is one of the most challenging skills to learn, so here are some specific ideas to help you on your way.

My Strategy (for what it’s worth!)

I spend my days working, talking to friends and family, and making sure I don’t forget to move my body and get some fresh air each day. Period.Normally I am the queen of big personal projects, but all that is on hold. Things are not normal.

I daydream in between sessions instead of researching, studying, or writing; I wear the same outfit for a week straight; I eat a lot of cereal for meals. Please don’t tell.

I’m not sleeping well. I wake up two or three times a night. I don’t sweat it; I pick up my Kindle and read until I fall asleep again. I try to go to bed earlier to counteract this, but often I don’t. 

Which brings me to my personal mantra:

It’s good enough for now.

Now is not the time for excellence. Now is the time for “Good enough”. Embrace this for yourself and feel the weight lift.

Clarify Your Values

Take a minute to think about your values. Right now, one of them is probably “Staying Healthy”.  We are all realizing that good health is not something we can take for granted any longer.

Most people also strongly value their connection to other people. Staying connected to other people in times of stress is not only a solid personal value, but also a good way to ward off the depression that often accompanies crises.

You probably also value being able to take care of yourself and your family, so work can be a top value, even if you aren’t crazy about your job. Even if your job makes you crazy!

*Are you still healthy? Do what you can to stay that way.

*Reach out to those you love and care about.

*Do your job as best you can.

That’s all. It’s good enough for now.

Now is a good time to allow yourself to focus exclusively on these valuable areas of your life. Trust that you will eventually get back to being productive and pursuing excellence. Trust yourself and then take care of yourself. Put on your own mask first.

The Cliff’s Notes:

1.Know …

what’s important to you

(Hint: good health, loved ones)

2.Allow…                                               

yourself to focus on ONLY those things.

Only. Those. Things.

3.Trust …

that you will eventually re-gain the psychic and physical energy to pursue excellence and follow your dreams.

You have before, and you will again.  

These are strange times. No one knows what the world will look like when this is over. Not knowing this is a huge psychic weight, even when it feels like you should have so much more time and energy.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Could You Use Some Extra Support?

I’m here to help!! I have been offering video therapy for years now and my clients love it! Studies show (and my clients would tell you!) that it can be just as effective as therapy done in person. I offer both individual and couples therapy on video. If you want to try it out and see, I offer free video consultations, so give me a call at 323-999-1537, or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com, and we will set one up. I want you to manage this crazy time as best you can. I want you to Thrive!!