10 Ways to Save Your Sanity While Sheltering in Place
Are You Going Crazy at Staying at Home All Day? Here Are Some Ways to Manage Your Emotions and Your Relationship During the Crisis.
1.Be Easy on Yourself
I think “Be easy on yourself” is gentler than “Lower your expectations”, but either one works in this situation. If you are used to working hard to get stuff done, then now, with extra time on your hands even if you’re working from home, it may seem weird that you don’t seem to be getting anything done. Actually it’s normal.
Right now we are all experiencing a HUGE psychic load. Covid-19, the stock market, uncertain job security. Congratulate yourself if you can just get out of bed and get through the day. Set very low goals, like “call one friend to check in and chat”, or “spend 15 minutes doing something that resembles physical exercise”. That’s it. If at the end of the day you can look back and say you did that one thing, or something similar, consider it a day well spent.
Consider this—If you are used to being at the top of your game in one arena or another, and are stymied by a world that doesn’t make sense and can’t be controlled or even much improved in the current moment, maybe your one personal goal for this whole mixed-up period could be to learn self-compassion.
Maybe you could use these next few weeks and months to practice loving yourself even if you don’t get shit done, or make that sales goal, or finish that project, or learn to speak Portugese.
Go back in time to tell your young self something you probably rarely heard as a kid:
You don’t have to DO anything; you are perfect just the way you are right now.
Be gentle to you.
That being said, here are more suggestions of ways to help manage your mood and your relationships in this tricky time…
COVID-19 UPDATE: I’ve been offering online therapy to individuals and couples for years! Click here to learn all about just how easy it is to do therapy from your home while you shelter in place!
2.Limit Your Exposure to the News and Social Media
Use a reliable source like Johns Hopkins University School of Public Health to stay in-the-know. I love their newsletter and their website because they are reliable, up-to-date, and have NO advertising.
There are so many panic-driven comments on social media that it’s hard not to get caught up in the fervor. Set aside a period at the beginning of the day, and again at the end of the day, and avoid social media the rest of the time. If you are loath to stay off of social media, consider trying it for just one day as an experiment, and at the end of the day evaluate whether or not you think it was beneficial.
3.Stay connected
Set up regular virtual “dates” with friends and family. Don’t worry that you are bothering them—they need to stay connected too!
Ideas from some of my clients:
*Have a virtual meal with family
*Whip up a “quarantini” and have a virtual Happy Hour with friends
*Watch movies all together at the exact same time with the Chrome extension Netflix Party.
*Start a virtual book club or group that discusses specific movies.
4.Get Moving
There are all kinds of online programs to help you get moving in your own home. One of my favorites is Gaia.com, where you can stream yoga as well as meditation, inspirational films, and other things even further out on the woo-woo spectrum. And you can get the first 30 days for free!
Another favorite is Yoga with Adriene. YouTube sensation Adriene Mishler is so lighthearted and upbeat, it’s no wonder that she has 5 million subscribers to her channel. If yoga is not your thing, it might still be worth doing a stretching workout every few days. It’s good to work out those kinks after sitting so long, and Adriane will make you smile.
For a low-commitment and honest-to-God genuine picker-upper (hyphens, anyone?) you can just set an alarm for a quick exercise break every couple of hours. My family meets IRL at home and virtually on FaceTime to do 10 Burpees a couple of times a day. We play loud music, cheer each other on, and finish with a few crunches. The whole thing takes 5 minutes and we connect briefly, get our hearts beating, and it lifts our mood. I highly recommend it! Jumping Jacks work too. If hip hop is your thing, check out this page.
5.Make Your Days Special
It’s so easy for one day to blend into another. Many of you are experiencing this already in just the first week of shelter-in-place. Try to come up with 7 different things that can make each day of the week a bit special. You can use some of the ideas above: Family virtual dinner on Sunday, online movie night with friends on Monday, book club on Tuesday, etc.
6.Reach Out to Others
Is there anyone in your circle of friends and acquaintances who is stuck home alone? You can be sure they’d love to chat. If you are afraid of getting stuck in a long conversation, you can always send a text first saying, “Hey, just thinking of you. Do you have 10 minutes for a check-in?”
If you have ever struggled with a specific issue in your life like a chronic illness or a mental challenge like ADHD, you can find an online support group and offer help to others who are struggling now. Studies show that helping others will reliably lift your mood. These days when it’s so easy to feel a bit helpless, it can be very empowering to help others who need it.
7.Routine
Go to bed and get up around the same time each day. Make your bed first thing when you get up. This is a real thing. Watch Admiral William McRaven’s Ted Talk on making your bed.
It’s very helpful for most people to have a specific morning routine—e.g. get up, make bed, drink coffee and check news, do 10-20 minutes of movement (yoga, stretching, spinning, etc.) do a 10-20 minute mindfulness meditation, get dressed and start the day.
8.Be Present
Now more than ever it is important to learn to stay in the present, and not let your brain spin out into the future or the past. Mindful meditation will help you practice the skill of noticing that you are spinning out into the future, and bringing your mind back to the present moment. Clients have liked the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, (free downloads) Tara Brach (free downloads) and the Calm App (free trial).
If you struggle with meditation, you might find it easier to develop a mindfulness practice, by picking one or more activities each day to practice doing completely mindfully. Many people like to start with brushing their teeth. You simply notice every time your mind is wandering, and bring your attention back to the current activity. Other activities my clients have chosen include washing the dishes, folding the laundry, or walking the dog.
Another way to meditate is by watching a video. One meditation video I like is this one, which features binaural sounds, so you need to listen with headphones to get the full effect.
If you enjoy the fine arts, you might like watching this 14-minute video of Infinite Drone, a recording of Yayoi Kusama’s mirror infinity room “The Souls of Millions of Light Years Away,” set to music by composer Geneva Skeen’s “The Oval Window”.
9.Boundaries
If friends or family call you to rant about the end-of-days feeling they are having, after acknowledging their feelings, allow yourself to gently re-direct them, or even to excuse yourself from the conversation. It isn’t helping them any to indulge their doom and gloom outlook, and it sure isn’t helping you!
If you live with a partner or a roommate, check out this blog post on Working From Home. The second half gives some helpful guidance for how to navigate the tricky situation of sharing a space 24/7 with someone else.
10.Miscellaneous:
Here is a great video about hand washing. How nurses wash their hands to protect themselves from covid-19.
Many of you have expressed concern that some people in your circle, often parents, don’t understand why it is absolutely critical to stay sequestered as much as possible. Here’s a great article with videos that explain the different curves for different scenarios. Pass it on and try to remember that you are not responsible for other people acting responsibly. If the people in question do not have personal health risks, do your best to let it go. (Just breathe….)
Stuff To Browse if You’re Bored (and Sick of Netflix…)
Comprehensive list of things to do from home:
Free online courses:
Free books and audiobooks
https://lifehacker.com/where-to-find-free-ebooks-during-the-coronavirus-shutdo-1842456736
Do You Need Some Extra Support Navigating These Crazy Times?
I am opening up extra spots on my calendar to accommodate anyone who needs some extra support during these difficult times. I am also happy to do a one-off session with anyone who just needs a neutral voice to help them sort out their feelings and come up with a plan to navigate these next few months. Please call me at 323-999-1537, or email me at amy@thrivetherapyla.com to set up your free phone or video consultation. I want you to find your balance and thrive!!