5 Easy Steps to a More Fulfilling Day

You were going to work on that home project, or prepare that presentation for work, but you are feeling stressed out and bored at the same time, and you are struggling to focus on the job at hand.

So… you check your Insta. Just for a minute.

And before long you begin to realize that time is different during shelter-in-place. Days can fly by, even though you aren’t really doing anything.  You lose all sense of perspective about the day, the week, the month. Is it Tuesday, or was that yesterday? And wasn’t February about 6 months ago?

So now you’ve spent an entire afternoon on your social, which wasn’t exactly your plan. Did you have a plan? You can’t really remember.

It’s okay to take time off of the hamster wheel of productivity. In fact, it’s absolutely necessary for mental health. But the question is, if you spend that time on your social media, do you feel better or worse?

If you’re reading this article, I’m guessing you’ve discovered exactly what research has been telling us for some years now:

Spending time on social media lowers your mood.

These days it’s nearly impossible to stay off of social media, as we are cut off from co-workers, friends, and family by the injunction to shelter-in-place. So it’s important to have a plan for the best way to keep in touch on social media without ruining your day. It’s easy enough to be depressed over the state of the world—we need to make choices when we can that will help us feel better about ourselves and our world.

The important thing to understand is that your brain can only wrap itself around a positive goal. That means it won’t be effective to have a goal of not being on social media; you need to have a goal for what you will be doing instead.

Ultimately, the way to stop wasting your time on social media is to spend your time on something that is intrinsically valuable instead.

Here are 5 Steps to Take to Stop Wasting Time on Social Media

…And Start Spending Your Time on Things That Bring You Joy!

1.Clarify Your Values

If you’ve been following my blog you will know I believe that one of the best ways to feel good about your life is to live it according to your own personal values. If you haven’t clarified what your values are, you will be easily swayed by someone else’s set of values and possibly follow those values instead of your own.

This can be as simple or as complex as you would like. A quick list of 5-7 values can be all you need. Many people find that once they begin this step though, they want to explore even more, which can be a rewarding exercise to do. (Learn more about how to clarify your values here).

Some of the values you might have on your list are: family, relationship with your significant other, friends, health, meaningful work, spirituality, spending time in nature, helping others, beauty, and simplicity.

2.Set an Intention

 Determine your goal for the day or the week. It should express one or more of your core values. For example, if your goal is to clean out your closet, that could express your value of having simplicity, or peace of mind. (For how to stop clutter from destroying your peace of mind, read this article).

Make your goal SMART- Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-sensitive.

Visualize accomplishing this goal. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ground yourself where you are. Feel your connection to the chair and the ground. Now imagine the feeling you will have when you have accomplished this goal.

3.Create a Strategy

Figure out where you want this goal to fit into your day.

For example: I am going to organize all my casual clothes this afternoon after lunch.

Now identify the things that need to happen: First I need to gather supplies, like bags or boxes to put the clothes in. Then I will clear an area to put all my stuff when I take it out of the closet.  Next I will take everything out of my closet and put it on the bed…

Make sure you have specific steps outlined either on paper or in your head, so that you will be able to do the next step:

4.Plan for the Roadblocks

Identify the obstacles that might occur, and how you can prevent them.

There is research that shows us that the success rate skyrockets when you envision and plan for the obstacles that might prevent you from achieving our goals.

Here is where you can plan for the lure of social media. Do you want to put your electronics somewhere else while you work? Do you want to use an app that blocks social media for certain periods of time? Read here for some specific tools to help you manage the time you spend on social media.

5.Record and Celebrate!

Keep a journal of the things you do each day that feel worthwhile. Some days those things will be productive, like cleaning a closet, and some days they will be less productive, like taking time to call three friends instead of just texting while you are scrolling through your social media.

Write down your feelings about what you did. It’s the feelings that will keep you motivated.

Some people like to write their goals in their journal at the beginning of the day, and then check them off at the end. If you do this, take an extra minute to rank, on a scale of 1-10, a) how hard or unpleasant you think it will be to do this and b) how good you think you will feel after having done it.

At the end of the day, before you check off the item and move on, take a minute to see how close your predictions were to what actually happened. By and large people tend to over-estimate the difficulty and under-estimate the pleasure at the end.

Doing this regularly will help you avoid procrastinating about the next thing on your list, because even goals that strongly reflect your values can be hard to get started on. We all know that you can highly value health and fitness, and spending time with friends, but still struggle to get on that Zoom workout with your friends at 6am!

To Summarize:

The best way to stop wasting time on social media is to start spending time on things that are meaningful to you.

In order to avoid the siren call of your social, though, you need to have some specific strategies and effective tools to assist you in staying on track. Much research has been done to make those social apps so compelling; you need to have a strong plan of attack in order to resist.

I have yet to hear from anyone who cut back on their social media use that they regret doing so. In fact, they don’t really talk about that at all; they simply talk about all the things they are doing that are interesting and worthwhile, and how much calmer and happier they feel.

You, too, can follow the suggestions above, and start spending your time on the things that bring you joy! 

Could You Use Some Extra Support Creating Balance in Your Life?

Therapy can help you reduce stress and anxiety and find your balance. Now during the shelter-in-place quarantine I am offering therapy exclusively online. You can read more about what it’s like to do Online Therapy here.

I have been doing online therapy for years, and I find that it is just as effective as in-person therapy, but a lot more convenient. I also have a comfortable office in Marina del Rey where I will resume offering in-person therapy as soon as it is safe to do so. 

Find out more now!! Just give me a call at 323-999-1537, or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com to set up your free consultation. I look forward to speaking to you soon!