It Doesn’t Have to be Complicated! Here Are 10 Simple and Easy Ways to Get Going Again.

You thought you’d be so excited about getting back out there—going back to work at the office, seeing friends in person again, going to bars and parties—but the truth is, you just really couldn’t care less. After all this time, now’s your chance and you have zero motivation. What’s going on???

There’s a term for this, it’s called languishing.

On the spectrum of emotional states, one end is depression or high anxiety, depending on your mood type, and on the other end is happiness and joy, which in psychological terms is known as flourishing. In the middle somewhere is languishing. It’s that feeling of stagnation. The absence of well-being. Feeling, well, meh.

Feeling meh is something that happens to everyone at times, but there are things you can do to move from meh to inspired. People who are languishing are more likely to become depressed, so the important thing is to guide yourself toward the flourishing end of the spectrum, rather than the depression end.

How can I move from languishing to flourishing?

Here are 10 Tips for Getting Your Mojo Back:

1. Assess Yourself

Taking a minute to assess where you stand can highlight areas that are opportunities for growth and change. You can use the 10-question assessment from Harvard’s Human Flourishing Program, which asks about not only overall happiness and satisfaction, but also physical health, purpose, meaning, ability to defer happiness, and friendships and intimate relationships.

2.Celebrate the Small Wins

Look for the small victories in your day. Did you stay calm on the phone with your mom when she asked you for the millionth time if you had a boyfriend yet? Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for being able to accomplish this.

3.Practice Mindfulness

A lot of my clients complain that though they intend to do some mindful meditation, they never actually get around to it. But you don’t need to do meditation to practice mindfulness. You can simply pick an activity that you do regularly, and practice focusing exclusively on that activity. Brushing your teeth or washing the dishes are activities that are easy to practice doing mindfully. Leave a post-it note by your toothbrush or the kitchen sink to remind yourself.

You can also practice mindfulness while you are walking, which for some people helps them calm their mind. A recent study shows that taking an awe walk, where you focus on feeling awe in the things you experience during your walk, can improve your mood and even your physical health.

4.Practice Gratitude

You don’t need to keep a gratitude journal (a suggestion one frequently hears, but that most people don’t keep up with on a regular basis). Just take a moment each day, maybe first thing when you wake up, or last thing before you go to sleep, to think about something that you are grateful for, and let yourself really feel the emotion of gratitude. You don’t have to have a whole list of things, just one thing is enough—the important part is to fully experience the feeling of gratitude.

5.Do A Small Kindness

You don’t have to spend weeks volunteering at the shelter, just do a little thing—let someone go in front of you in the grocery store line, bring in your neighbor’s garbage cans, or bring a cup of coffee to your partner in bed to surprise them. The little things add up, and the feeling is much the same as it is for the “big” things. Also, it’s much easier to do the small things, so it’s more likely that you will keep up the habit.

6.Connect with Someone

Send a message to a friend or relative you haven’t heard from in a while, chances are that they are feeling “meh”, too! Or simply take the time to talk to the neighbor you pass by while walking the dog, or the barista at your favorite coffee shop. Many of these small interactions have been missing in our daily lives during the covid pandemic, and it has eaten away at our mental health.

You can also connect to groups you have missed during the pandemic. Maybe you’d like to go back to that yoga class, or take that cooking class you’ve been talking about. That’s also a great way to meet some new people and make some new friends, if you are one of the many people who is re-thinking their friend group since the pandemic.

7.Try Something New

Novelty primes our brains and releases chemicals that make us happier. So sign up for that pottery class, try that new recipe, go to that museum exhibition, or maybe just try a new route on your next run or bike ride. Amazingly, studies show that even doing something like brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand will stimulate different regions of your brain and lead to new neural pathways.

If you and your partner have spent the last year together practically 24/7, try something new together. No, I don’t mean sex—though novelty is generally a good thing to spark libido as well! It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just go for a walk or play a board game or try to make a new recipe together.

8.Go with the Flow

Flow is a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, PhD., Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Claremont Graduate University, to describe those moments when you are completely absorbed by a challenging but manageable task. Spending time in a state of Flow has been shown to increase happiness and satisfaction with life.

Flow is what helped people get through the pandemic, and it can help you get through your re-entry to “real life”. Kate Sweeny, PhD., professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, recently collaborated on a survey of 5,115 people under quarantine in China. To her surprise, the people who best tolerated their confinement were not the most mindful or optimistic; they were the ones who’d found the most flow.

One of the ways to encourage Flow is to minimize distractions, so next time you are working on a challenging task, turn off your cell phone, turn off notifications, and close all the extra tabs on your browser (especially email!)  You can learn more about how to create Flow here.

9.Find Purpose

Notice I didn’t say, “Find your passion”, as if it was just going to drop into your lap from the heavens! Finding purpose is much more practical. Look for the purpose in the everyday things you do. Don’t love your job? Well, maybe you value being responsible about paying your bills, or being able to live in a safe neighborhood near your friends. Sick of cleaning the kitchen? Remind yourself that you value having a clean and tidy home. Hate grocery shopping? (this is my personal kryptonite!) Remember that you value having healthy, nutritious food at your house so that you don’t just live on Starbucks lattes and cake pops (me again!)

10. Get Help

Therapy can help you move past the “meh” and get your mojo back! Give me a call at 323-999-1537, or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com to set up your free consultation. We will have a chat about what’s going on with you and how I can help. I want you to leave the languishing behind and learn to thrive!