Life in the Time of Covid-19 (and Beyond!), Part Three: Resilience

What Can We Learn About Resilience From Alaskan Sled Dogs?

 Sled dogs? Really? Has Amy completely lost touch with the reality of life in Southern California? There are certainly those who might argue this point, but their evidence would have nothing to do with this blog…

I recently read a New York Times article by Blair Braverman, who drives sled dogs in the frozen Alaskan wilderness. Though I have little in common with this fascinating woman, her opening lines are completely relevant for our lives right here in sunny SoCal:

“Working with [sled dogs] in the wilderness means negotiating countless shifting variables. Sounds a lot like the world we’re living in.”

Certainly no one could argue that sled dog drivers, or mushers, as they are also called, need to be extremely resilient. And we could all use some help figuring out how to navigate a world with countless shifting variables.

What follows is my take on how to incorporate the wisdom of sled dogs into our lives right here in California!

1.Pace Yourself

Sled dogs don’t pace themselves; they run full-out every time. It’s up to the musher to know when to have them stop and rest. So what does Ms. Braverman tell us?

Front. Load. Rest.

It’s much much easier at the end of the race to be on your game if you have taken care of yourself from the beginning.

Granted, we are no longer at the “front” of this pandemic. But though it may feel like the end is in our sights, vaccines are being distributed and some people have been inoculated already, we are actually in the middle.

First of all, it’s going to take a fair amount of time for everyone to get the vaccine. Hell, it’s going to take a fair amount of time just to convince everyone to get the vaccine.

Secondly, it’s going to take some time to recover from all the damage that has been wrought by the virus and the mismanagement thereof.

Finally, we are going to have to construct our “new normal”. Not just for the country, but for ourselves personally. We are not the same as before the pandemic. We have had time to really see what is important as life has been distilled down to the essentials. We are going to have to figure out how we want to show up in a post-covid life.

So if you, like many of us, have let things slide, now is the time to get back into a healthier routine. If, like me, your bedtime has shifted later and later as you watch just one more episode of “The Crown”, now is the time to take stock and get back on track. If you have just given up on exercise since your gym closed down, now is the time to start building a habit with at-home videos or regular jogs each week.

Prepare yourself so that you can be on your A-game for the rest of the pandemic and beyond. You want to be in good condition to shape your post-pandemic life with intention.

2.Nurture Your Support Network

Blair Braverman’s advice on this is succinct and perfect:

“We should ask for support before we need it. We should support others before they ask. Because if you don’t know how far you’re going, you need to act like you’re going forever.”

One thing I have noticed in nearly all of my therapy sessions is that people have lost the psychic energy to keep up their social Zoom calls. We spend all day on soul-sucking videos for work, and then we just have nothing left at the end of the day for friends and family.

At first it was so easy to meet up online, but now we find it is also so easy to ignore. We haven’t put any time or energy into planning that Friday night video happy hour, so it is easy to find an excuse not to do it. In pre-covid days we were already dressed up at work, we had to get into our car anyway, might as well stop at the bar to meet up with some friends at the end of the week. Now as our workday blends right into our free time, meeting up on Zoom almost seems like a disruption.

It takes an effort these days to stay connected, but all the studies show that staying connected with friends and family benefits not only your mental health, but also your physical health.

We need to renew our efforts to stay connected, whether that means reaching out and asking for help from our friends and family, or reaching out to check in on someone we care about who might be scared, lonely, or depressed.

In these tough times we all need to watch out for each other!

3.Live in the Moment

When things are so uncertain that planning for the future can be exceptionally difficult, it is especially important to be focused in the present. Ms. Braverman points out that letting go of the future and being solidly in the present is actually freeing.

Studies show that being focused on the present will reduce your stress and improve your health and mood. It’s a win-win!

So how can you practice being mindful in a world with so many constant distractions?

Many of my clients love the meditation apps that make practicing mindful meditation so accessible. The two favorites seem to be Calm and Headspace. Both of these apps have free trials you can check out. If you have Kaiser insurance, you can even use the Calm app for free!

Mindful meditation can be challenging if, like many people, you don’t totally understand the way it works, so I will explain it here.

A mindful meditation will include a narration to bring your mind back to a single focus, like your breath. The actual practice is in noticing that your mind is wandering, and then bringing it back. The more you notice and come back to your breath, the more practice you are getting. Let me say that another way,

The more you notice that your mind is wandering, the more good mindfulness practice you are getting!!

Therefore, if you do a 10-minute mindful meditation and you notice 30 times that your mind is wandering, you aren’t doing it wrong—you are getting a LOT of great practice being mindful!

Of course, it can be frustrating to watch your mind wander so much, but be patient. After practicing mindful meditation for just a few days you will begin to notice a difference in your daily life. You will catch your mind wandering and bring it back to the present. THIS is the whole purpose of mindful meditation.

When you catch your mind wandering while you are making dinner or cleaning your home or walking your dog you will know that your mindful meditation is working!

Another way to practice mindfulness is through a mindful activity.

Some of my clients really struggle to sit still for 10-20 minutes each day and prefer to practice mindfulness with a mindful activity. To do this you simply pick an activity you do daily, like brushing your teeth, making your bed, making coffee in the morning, or washing the dishes. Then, every time you do this activity, you practice focusing on exactly what you are doing. Again, when you notice your mind wander, simply bring your focus back to the activity. The more you notice and re-focus, the more practice you are getting. As you get better at focusing on the one activity, you can add others to your list. It’s that simple!

It’s interesting to note that studies show that your mood will be better if you focus on the activity you are engaged in, rather than listen to a podcast or compose a future text conversation in your head. This is true even if you are engaging in an activity you don’t enjoy!

That’s right!! You will feel happier after doing something you don’t want to do if you actually focus on that exact thing you don’t want to do!!

It can take some discipline to check this out for yourself—who really wants to focus on taking out the garbage or even on making the bed? But try it out, you may surprise yourself!

Summary

Sometimes we can learn life lessons from the strangest places! Chances are you will never drive sled dogs in the Alaskan wilderness, but you can learn valuable life lessons from the people who do!

This article is one of a four-part series on Life in the Time of Covid-19. For more helpful ideas about how to build your best life in these crazy times, read:

Looking Back at 2020: 8 Things I Learned About Life During the Covid-19 Pandemic

Understanding Your Emotions During the Covid Pandemic: Why You Might Feel Angry and Depressed This Holiday Season

A New Beginning in 2021: How to Make Resolutions That Stick in an Age of Uncertainty

Could You Use Some Extra Help Sorting Through All the Feelings About Your Life, Covid-19, the Holiday Season, and the New Year?

Therapy can be a great way to clarify what you want, set you on the right path, and give you the tools to reach your goals. Give me a call at 323-999-1537, or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com, to set up your FREE consultation where we can talk about your specific needs and how I can help. I want you to have the best 2021 ever!