A Fresh Start Can Be Both Exciting and Scary!

Half of Americans have received at least one covid vaccine, and over one-third are fully vaccinated. It’s okay to go outside without a mask. Restaurants, theaters, and gyms are opening up. Music festivals are gearing up for summer.

 Hip hip hooray! We can begin to go back to normal life again! Except… this is not what I am seeing in my therapy practice. Now that the long-awaited moment is nigh, people are apprehensive about returning to some of the activities they engaged in pre-covid. How can this be true? After over a year of severely restricting our interactions with others, why are so many people worried about what the future holds?

First the Positive

One of the most striking effects I have noticed of the COVID pandemic is that it has led many people to re-evaluate what is important in their lives.

WORK

Some people realized how much of a drain that daily commute to work was, and are now looking for any way possible to continue working remotely. Others realized how important those little interactions with their co-workers are in order to be happy and engaged in their job, or that without an environment solely dedicated to work, they are easily distracted from their own work activities.

FAMILY

Many people realize how important it actually is to share holidays and significant events with their extended family, even if in the beforetimes they were constantly annoyed by having to fly across the country to see everyone. On the other hand, some people who had previously spent every holiday with relatives or in-laws found out how much they enjoy hosting their own Christmas or Passover.

FRIENDS

With almost all of our interactions with friends occurring on video for months on end, many of us realized that we could easily reconnect with friends all over the globe. It became possible to spend time with the friends we choose, rather than friends who are simply geographically desirable. This is especially apparent in Los Angeles, where “geographically desirable” often means a radius of only about 10 miles.

TIME

Perhaps one of the most interesting effects of a year of pandemic restrictions is the way we came to view time. Pretty early on most of us began noticing that one day simply blended into the next, and it was hard to distinguish Tuesday from Friday, or even from Saturday. Our time was in many ways ours to plan as we wished, and so we were required to decide what it was we actually wished to do.

Most of us had a few false starts--- Work all the time? Sure, not much else to do. Then…burnout. Or—Stay up all night binge-watching Netflix? Sure, it finally feels like “my time”. Then… chronic sleep deprivation just made it not worth it. Eventually we mostly figured out how to spend our time in a way that matters.

What’s the Downside?

Now that we are more clear on the things that are truly important to us, a return to “normalcy” means that we may surprise people with some of the new choices we make. And these people may not be so happy about the changes. People, in general, are not happy about changes.

WORK

Many people are prepared to insist on some combo of remote and in-person work—or change jobs. If the boss is inflexible about this, it seems silly not to confront them with some obvious reasons why it can work. And yet, even will all the facts on our side, most of us would much rather avoid this confrontation.

FAMILY

After a year of not visiting those relatives you really can’t stand, you may be more motivated to continue this pattern. But how to do this in the least offensive way, or, at least, in a way that doesn’t piss off the relatives you actually like? Or will you decide to just suck it up and do your best to ignore bad behavior at the next family gathering? Somehow it seems like much more of a conscious choice now, rather than the default. Everything is more intentional these days.

FRIENDS

This is the big one! With whom do we really want to spend our time? And will they still want to spend time with us? It seems like everything is up for grabs. Additionally, many of my clients who were very social in the beforetimes are suddenly worried that they will now be awkward in larger social gatherings.

CONCLUSION

As we return to normal, we have a giant chance for a “fresh start”. In many ways, this is a terrific opportunity. Studies have shown that having a fresh start makes it much easier to change old habits.

Obviously, this can also be seen as a burden. It’s a big responsibility to live your life according to your values. It’s so easy to let things just slide along and go with the flow. Now that we have a chance to shape how we want to interact with the world, we need to not only identify what we want, but we may also have to fight for it. This can be a daunting prospect!

The gift that this return to “normal” gives us is the chance to be more intentional about our lives.

Don’t forget, being intentional doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make big changes, you still have the choice to either intentionally try to change things, or to intentionally go with the flow. Making the choice is what makes all the difference!

Could You Use Some Extra Help Figuring Out Your “New Normal”?

Therapy can help you sort through the feelings and understand what is holding you back. Therapy can give you the tools and knowledge to build the life you want and deserve. Give me a call at 323-999-1537 or shoot me an email at amy@thrivetherapyla.com to set up your free consultation, where we can talk about what is going on with you and how I can help.