hen you go home for the holidays, will you have to deal with someone who tries to manipulate and shame you? Many of us have people in our families who have an automatic way of interacting with the world that involves trying to manipulate those around them— they shame us, put us down, or just ignore us as if we don’t matter. They learned these patterns of behavior when they were very young, and now it’s automatic. It’s not meant to be malicious, but it can destroy your self-confidence nonetheless.